Releasing Resistance Around Difficult Emotions

We often try to logicalize our emotions. Try to figure out why we are feeling certain emotions. Maybe create stories around them. Create shame or guilt around them. Judge ourselves. Criticize ourselves. Think, what’s wrong with me?

But sometimes, our emotions may not be logical. 

Emotions are simply energy, and sometimes they just need to be felt and released- not understood. 

Something we can do is say to ourselves “It makes total sense that I’m feeling ____.”

This simple act of acceptance and validation is powerful and allows the emotion the space it needs to move through us, instead of creating resistance. 

Knowledge Vs Embodiment

What’s the difference between knowledge and embodiment?

Knowledge is the mental learning, repeating, awareness. 

Embodiment is actually living what you learned on a daily basis. 

When I first dove into emotional healing, it was all about gaining as much knowledge as I could. I listened to all the podcasts. Read all the books.

But after time I realized that I wasn’t actually living this knowledge.

I could talk all about boundaries and the importance of setting them, but when it came to setting a boundary I would freeze and avoid.

I could talk all about the nervous system responses, but I was still having extreme experiences of nervous system dysfunction.

I could talk all about taking your power back, but I was still giving my power away on a daily basis, with even small things.

I could talk all about the importance of feeling your feelings, but I was still terrified of feeling mine on deep levels.

It wasn’t until I started doing somatic work that I realized: I had all the mental stuff down, but I was totally disconnected from my body.

And being connected to my body is how I can embody and live this knowledge.

Through body- based modalities such as somatic coaching, emotional release, and breathwork, I created more safety to be in my body, which led to feeling more connected to myself, which led to actually integrating all of the knowledge and living it.

Knowledge is power. Awareness is power. And embodiment creates even deeper levels of empowerment.

Sitting With Uncertainty

We live in a world of instant gratification- we can order something on Amazon and get it the same day- and instant knowing- we can google something and get the answer in seconds. We come to expect this in our life- when we need to make a decision or choose a path, we may expect to immediately know, to immediately get answers. And maybe if we don’t trust ourselves, we may seek externally for the answer, either by asking others what we should do or making a logical decision based on what we “should” do.

We don’t know how to sit in the unknown and sit with the uncertainty. We don’t know how to be in this void space of nothingness. 

Taking action- even if it’s uninspired- feels safer than non-action. 

Which makes sense- it’s scary and uncomfortable. 

And, ironically, it is often here- in the void- where our answers lie. It is when we can sit with the unknowing that we start to find clarity, and when we sit with the uncertainty that we start to find our truth. 

How Do We “Let Go?”

We live in a society where we are taught to let go, move on, start new. Forgive.

People say “Let it go”, as if we should just visualize whatever we want to let go of drifting away, out of our bodies and our minds. Sometimes this is all we need. But sometimes it doesn’t work. And let’s normalize that.

While yes- it’s unhealthy to hold onto these states and emotions for long periods of time, it’s also unhealthy to shove down and ignore the emotions coming up around the situation.

Sometimes letting go is a process, not a decision.

Our body holds onto trauma. “Trauma” could be one time in our childhood when we were yelled at, or witnessed something we couldn’t process, or felt left out or embarrassed. It’s not always a major event.

During these moments, our body created a way to stay safe, because our bodies didn’t have the capacity to process what was going on. Sometimes we may have created coping mechanisms as a way to stay safe- people pleasing, avoidance, overworking, etc. We may have learned to suppress emotions.

We can “let go” in our minds, but if we haven’t processed the emotions and integrated the parts of us still stuck in survival strategies, we are still going to feel lingering emotions in our body around the situations that are keeping us stuck. This can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, resentment, and avoidance. And stuck emotions can also cause physical symptoms.

Letting go is a process. A process of awareness- of becoming aware of the parts of us that are creating resistance because letting go doesn’t feel safe. A process of establishing more safety in the body so we can let go of deeper layers. A process of fully feeling the emotions that come up. A process of allowing our bodies to release at the pace and timing that is best- knowing that this process is determined by the timeline in our body- not only our mind.

What is “Embodiment?”

When I first saw the word “embodiment,” I had no idea what it meant. I saw “embodiment coaches” and “embodiment exercises” on Instagram and wondered if this was just another trendy buzzword.

For me, I couldn’t really understand what embodiment meant until I experienced what it meant to truly be in my body- which happened during my first breathwork session. It was the first time I felt truly aware and present in my body while feeling safe. And it made me realize how I had lived my whole life escaping my body for protection.

I started doing breathwork on a regular basis and also started working with a somatic coach. Our sessions involved me noticing the sensations and emotions in my body as I spoke, becoming aware of what trauma responses felt like in the body, noticing when my nervous system was activated, and doing lots of inner child and parts work. I became better at noticing what certain emotions felt like in my body and over time created more safety in my body to feel and process them.

And over time, I discovered what “embodiment” meant for me- becoming more aware of my body on a daily basis. Acknowledging the wisdom and intelligence of my body. Involving my body in decisions, checking in with it throughout the day. Noticing the emotions coming up, where I feel them in my body, and determining what I need to do. Feeling more connected to my intuition and trusting myself more. Overall, living life with a greater awareness of my body.

As a society we are so disconnected from our bodies, living life on auto-pilot and unaware of how our thoughts, behaviors, and actions are affecting our bodies- and how trauma in our bodies is affecting our thoughts, behaviors, and actions. I lived this way for most of my life. And when we operate solely from our minds, we miss out on all of the information our body has to share.

Becoming aware of our bodies allows us to heal limiting beliefs and unhealthy patterns from not only our minds but from our bodies as well, where trauma is stored. This allows for mind-body congruence- which can provide deeper healing than mindset work alone. And when we have mind-body congruence, we can actually start to embody and radiate love, joy, abundance, empowerment, and confidence.

If you feel like embodiment is something you would like to explore, book a free clarity call here, book a breathwork session here, or email me at hello@laurenjill.com for my coaching package options.